The Less-than-Pleasant Realities

Fiona and I have never shied away from the realities of living in Africa. Fortunately, we live in a pretty civilized part of it. No, the most civilized part of it.

“Africa”, as an Afrikaans friend puts it, “is not for sissies.” Too true. But we’re, in some ways, tempting fate a bit by embarking on a trip of 19,000 kms across Sub-Saharan Africa. Crime, hijackings, malaria, road accidents, guerillas, lawlessness, remarkably aggressive animals, snakes, salesmen… they’re all out there.

Somewhat as happens with childbirth, as soon as you tell anyone you are committed to it, they feel obliged to roll out all the horrible (and often apocryphal) anecdotes of immeasurable pain, fates worse than death, doom and destruction. “My cousin was killed by a hippo in Botswana”, “My second cousin’s 3 year old was dragged off by a hyena”, “Did you hear about the guy who was eaten by a lion in his shower in Zim?”, “One of my friends was robbed at gunpoint and his car stolen”, and on and on… Ok, Ok, Ok!!

So, for all you (concerned?) doomsayers, here is the list of stuff we have to do before we leave:

1. Check that our wills are up to date! 🙂
2. Check our medical insurer will evacuate us in case of emergency (including hippo stompings)
3. Check vehicle insurance to ensure that we’ll be covered in all the countries we’re visiting (including grand theft auto)
4. Take certified photocopies of passports, driver’s license, credit cards and hide them within the car; leave other certified copies with our lawyer in Cape Town
5. Hide additional US$ cash within the car, maybe install a safe
6. Create a list of emergency numbers: local consulates and embassies, our banks, our lawyer
7. Give our lawyer in Cape Town Power of Attorney to act on our behalves if we get into trouble
8. Wear clean underwear cuz you never know.